During a nasty economic crisis, smart business owners do something to show they feel
the pain their customers are going through. Now that December’s here, this would be the perfect time for ski resort owners to make a gesture of some sort. While a cut in ticket prices would be wonderful, it’s not likely to happen, but what if the resorts renamed their ski runs and snowboard parks to reflect the reality of the current financial mess?
Killington, Vermont, for example, could make several changes before the season gets into full swing:
(CURRENT NAME) (NEW NAME)
Easy Street No Such Thing
Devil’s Den Hedge Funds
High Traverse Too Big To Fail
Double Dipper General Motors
Racer’s Vertigo Geithner’s Fear
Anarchy Mortgage This
Pipe Dream Safe Investment
East Fall Citigroup
Dream Maker Housing Bubble
Outer Limits Outer Bernanke
Great Bear Main Street
Panic Button Too Late Now
Royal Flush Lehman Brothers
Home Run Solid Single
Escapade AIG
Superstar We Wish
Reason Insanity
Escape Bailout
Magic Snow Play Park Fannie and Freddie
Juggernaut Junkbondknot
Valley Plunge Dow Jones
Frolic Not On My Watch
Old Superstar Old Greenspan
Wild Fire Yearend Bonus
The Stash Bernie’s Bundle
Squeeze Play Credit Crunch
High Road So Yesterday
Great Northern Bean Soup
Even if I sent my suggestions to the managers of Killington, I’m sure they would ignore them. One thing they and other resort owners should pay attention to is their steep ticket prices. A ticket for an adult to ski one weekday at Killington costs more than I used to make in an entire week at UPI. Yes, that was nearly a half century ago, so let me give you a more meaningful, modern comparison. I love to ski and I love to drink bourbon. One of my favorite bourbons, Evan Williams, goes for only about $14 a bottle. I’m a senior, which means one day of midweek skiing at Killington costs $55. That’s almost four bottles of bourbon. Should our investments go sour, this old man could be forced to choose between one day of skiing in perhaps lousy weather and four bottles of smooth bourbon. That’s a tough one. Pray, please, for a healthy stock market. Thank you.
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(Posted December 10, 2010)